Word count: 3800+
Summary: In the week running up to Christmas, Sunggyu takes more care in looking after the members than attending to his own happiness. Naturally this bothers Woohyun, but there's nothing he can do about it.... is there?
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Infinite. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.
"No matter how he looked at it, the hopelessness didn’t dissipate. There was no avoiding the fact that he was alone at Christmas."
"No matter how he looked at it, the hopelessness didn’t dissipate. There was no avoiding the fact that he was alone at Christmas."
“Yah, Dongwoo, are you ready yet?” Sunggyu called, trying to grab the energetic dancer’s attention away from the game, whatever it was, he was tapping at furiously, clinging to his ipod like his life depended on it. He was leaving today, so he could be home to celebrate Christmas with his family. Sungjong and Hoya had already left, having much further to travel than the rest of the group, and had sent texts that morning letting the managers and Sunggyu know that they were home safe.
Really, Sunggyu hated it. He hated sending away his members - his new family - one by one. This time tomorrow - Christmas eve, the apartment would be empty, and he would be the only one left. It was selfish, he knew, but he wanted another 'Infinite Christmas'.
Last year had been wonderful, they had all stayed at the tiny dorm together, laughing and joking, generally being festive. They didn’t have much to give each other, nor did they have much decoration up around the dorm, but they didn’t need it. The spirit of the season had infected them to an unavoidable point and the seven of them had played constantly, settling only as the night drew in, exhaustion and dreams following in its star flecked footsteps.
It had been perfect, and he wanted that again. He didn’t want to be in opposite ends of the country to his closest friends when everyone else in the world was spending the day with theirs. However, now was not the time for worrying about trivial things like that - it was already too late for that anyway.
“Dongwoo, get your bag and get in the car now.” He sighed, practically pushing him through the front door, not that he seemed to mind. Dongwoo never did complain much, it wasn’t in his nature. “Sungyeol has been waiting in there for the past fifteen minutes so hurry it up. You know what he gets like if he can’t run around for extended periods of time.”
“A bit like you are now, you mean?” He asked, grinning as he grabbed his bag. He stuffed his ipod in his jeans pocket, one of the headphones slipping from his ear, though he didn’t appear to care. Sunggyu raised an eyebrow.
“I’m just kidding hyung.” The younger laughed, reaching out to grab the somewhat crabby leader in a tight, yet manly hug. With one hand, he patted him on the back, and with the other, he accidentally swung his large overnight bag into the backs of Sunggyu’s knees, a sharp pain jolting him upright. He was tempted to reproach him, but it was an accident and well, he just didn’t have it in him - not when Dongwoo was so upbeat and happy, even more than the unusually high levels of happiness he maintained.
“Have a good Christmas okay hyung? See you on the twenty-seventh! Try not to miss me too much!” He cried as he stepped into the elevator, giving a cheeky salute as the doors began to close on him.
“You too.” Sunggyu managed to fit in before the doors closed, reducing Dongwoo to a thin strip before hiding him completely from sight.
“You too.” He repeated under his breath, going back into the apartment’s sitting room where both Myungsoo and Woohyun were sat watching TV.
“And then there were three.” Myungsoo sighed, almost sarcastically, crossing and recrossing his legs indecisively.
And soon, he thought, there would be one.
The next day, Sunggyu almost didn’t want to get out of bed.
“Hyung?” Woohyun asked, padding barefoot into the bedroom they shared. He was wearing a pair of loose fitting grey sweatpants, and only those, which is primarily why Sunggyu allowed his eyes to remain open. That and the fact Woohyun wanted something he was obliged to help him with, not only because he was his leader and hyung, but because they were, and had been for the past ten months, dating.
Regardless, there was still a certain sense of apathy that prevented him from being at all enthusiastic when he questioned what he wanted.
“Good morning to you too.” The younger chuckled, rifling through their many drawers and cupboards in search of something. Sunggyu ignored the quip and sat up, hand blearily running through his hair before rubbing his eyes, dragging the skin here and there. The blanket pooled around his waist, and he tugged at it self consciously despite wearing a pyjama set, and being fully aware of that fact.
“Do you know where I put my present for Boohyun?” Woohyun asked, not looking at him as he shoved his head into the wardrobe, now a little frantic. “I still need to wrap it, I thought I’d do that while you were getting ready.” He said, absentmindedly, as if he was just filling the silence.
Sunggyu blinked, the strong light leaving colourful patterns in his vision.
“Get ready? What for?” He murmured, voice a little fuzzy and mouth uncooperative. He was getting to his senses now, not that he was especially bothered - today would be worse than yesterday, and tomorrow would be plain awful
“You told Soo’s mother you’d take him round to their house remember?” Woohyun reminded, laughing a little as he did so. Clearly, he thought Sunggyu’s befuddled, sleep deprived state was amusing.
“God, I did, didn’t I?” Sunggyu grumbled, senses now pretty much as they should be, recounting the conversation he had had with his junior’s mother. She was still so protective - far more caring than any of his family were these days. Woohyun nodded at him, smile softening slightly.
“You did sweetie, now come on, you have to keep that promise.” He held out his hand, which Sunggyu begrudgingly took, allowing himself to be pulled out of bed. The floor was cold, as was the biting air. Hyoan had probably forgotten to put the heating on again, or had intentionally left it off to save money.
“You guys better appreciate what a freaking good leader I am.” He pouted as he wandered out of the room, stretching his arms. He vaguely heard the soft laugh of Woohyun behind him as he sat at the dinner table, grabbing a banana from the bowl for his breakfast.
Thirty minutes later, after he had eaten, washed up and grabbed a speedy shower, Sunggyu found himself browsing the wardrobe, which seemed oddly empty now that several of Woohyun’s items had been taken out of it. Sat crossed legged on the bed behind him, Woohyun insisted on conversation.
“So what about you? How come you haven’t packed yet?”
This was the one topic he had wanted to avoid, having not even discussed his current issues with Woohyun, with whom he shared virtually everything else.
“I’m…” He began but he trailed off, staring at a pair of reddish jeans for the tenth time in five minutes, though now he wasn’t really looking at them. They were just a façade, he supposed.
“Gyu?” Woohyun’s voice was small, so much softer than usual. In his mind, Sunggyu could picture his face perfectly - his lips would be pursed, head leant the slightest bit to the left, brows knitting together. One glance would confirm it, as he found out when he turned to find him staring at him, the puppy like expression he had expected across his petite face.
“Doesn’t matter.” He waved his hand in a very blasé way, refusing to link gazes with the boy sat on the bed. He had to get ready, and he would use that as an excuse not to chat.
“Did you take my blue and pink shirt again? I know you hate it, but you cant stop me wearing it.”
“Gyu, stop it.” Woohyun said firmly, and Sunggyu was given the impression that this topic was not going to be dropped, no matter how hard he tried to escape it.
He huffed and dropped the hanger, heavy with a thick pair of jeans, on the bed.
“What, Woohyun?” He asked sharply, rolling his eyes as if it was inconvenience.
The younger pouted thoughtfully, and looked up at him with concerned eyes. He knew there was something wrong, that there was more to this than Sunggyu had told him. If he had his way, Sunggyu would have kept him in the dark and never told him what his plans for Christmas were, but it seemed like now he’d have no choice.
“Something’s up, and I want you to talk to me about it.” He said, and he reached out and grabbed Sunggyu’s hand, cool fingers playing about on his skin. The elder closed his eyes, and rolled his head back, searching for a way to explain what had happened and why he had made the choices he had.
“I’m staying here for Christmas, I’m not going home.” He said simply, still leafing through the wardrobe for a shirt and a jacket with his free hand. The more casual he seemed about it, the less Woohyun would worry and the sooner it’d be dropped. At least that was the plan.
“You’re hiding something from me Gyu. I don’t like it.” Woohyun said slowly, tugging at Sunggyu’s hand until he was stood facing him, nose level with his chest. There was no pointing making him even more upset, he thought, but he wasn’t sure whether knowing the truth would be worse than the worry caused by not knowing. He looked down into the wide eyes that searched his own and felt himself crack a little.
“Fine.” He began, flicking his fringe from his face. “I didn’t want to go home. That’s all.” No, that wasn’t all, but he didn’t want to get Woohyun stressed just before he left for his holiday.
“Why?” He asked slowly, shaking his head minutely. Sunggyu felt scrutinised - they eyes that had stared into his for long were now searching his face for any sign of… well, Sunggyu didn’t know what, but he was aware it was happening.
“Don’t want to travel.” He shrugged, trying to turn back to the wardrobe - Myungsoo would be annoyed if he was excessively late delivering him to his family. He failed however, as his other hand was grabbed, and he was held in front of Woohyun without any choice.
“Are you kidding me? Sungjong made it back to Gwangju, you’ve barely got half the journey he did!”
Sunggyu’s eyes lowered.
“Tell me the real reason.” Low and soft, his voice carried into Sunggyu’s ears, leaving him with no other choice. He felt the pressure leave one of his hands, and slipped it free, sitting beside his junior, the bed bending beneath his weight.
“I came to Seoul against my father’s wishes. He hasn’t spoken to me for three years, I wouldn’t be welcome.” He explained.
It felt weird to talk about it - no one knew about his home life, it wasn’t something they regularly discussed between the seven of them. Since they rarely had time for family, it was a sensitive subject, Sungjong got homesick, Hoya went quiet and brooding, Sungyeol cried. Even Dongwoo was down when they hadn’t seen family for a long time, though his mother and sisters seemed to make a concerted effort to visit him frequently.
“I’m sor-” Woohyun began but Sunggyu interrupted him.
“It’s fine, don’t be silly. It was my choice - my mother asked me to go back, but I said I’d rather stay here. This way I’m not making anyone unhappy.” He tried to sound breezy, but he realised how overdramatic and rather pathetic the whole thing was. It made him feel even worse about being alone, but he didn’t let on.
“Baby, why didn’t you tell me?” Woohyun asked sadly, placing a hand gently on his thigh, tenderly drawing patterns on the soft cotton of his pyjama pants.
Sunggyu didn’t answer, his just looked down and sighed, knowing that Woohyun knew exactly why. He never told him anything he thought would worry him, it was his job to worry, on behalf of both of them if he had to. Woohyun hated it, Sunggyu knew, but he couldn’t stop the habit, it was part of who he was.
He felt his face be tipped to the left, hot breath ghosting his face. He was suddenly overcome with emotion, a rarity for him - he wasn’t the type to cry, but he felt his cheeks burning slightly.
“You’re stupid Kim Sunggyu.”
And with that, Sunggyu felt his lips be captured in a gentle embrace, by a pair much fuller than his own. It was sweet, soft and ever so slightly minty - Woohyun must have only just brushed his teeth, and over in a matter of seconds. Their lips dragged slightly, refusing to part as their heads pulled away.
“Will you be okay here…” Woohyun trailed off, and Sunggyu knew he had dropped the word ‘alone’.
“Of course I will, stupid. You go home and have fun.” He patted him on the shoulder and got up, letting go of the hand that wrapped around his own.
“Now come on, I need to get ready.”
Before he knew it, he was bowing to Mrs Kim, Myungsoo’s mother, and heading making his way back to the apartment, keeping his face covered. He was alone now, having given Woohyun a solemn send off, masked with kisses and a lengthy hug, and didn’t want to be crowded by strangers. Or did he? It would be something to do. Well, not being spotted and screamed at by hordes of young girls, but being out and about, keeping his mind occupied. If he was the type, he could get a few drinks, but he wasn’t, he would probably have a meal in a streetside restaurant somewhere. He was contemplating this when a shuddering sensation ran through his leg.
He had a text.
Just thought I’d check up on you!
Why don’t you go out tonight? Make some new friends kekeke!!
Just don’t be out too late okay?
Miss you already, Nam xxxx”
Well then, that decided it. He would go out and have a bit of festive fun!
After wandering around the city a little, he found a small family run restaurant and huddled in, sheltering from the cold as he took a seat at the counter. No one stirred when he took off his scarf, the waitress didn’t even recognise him when she looked down at him, listening to his order.
He was safe to relax a while in here, he thought, and so he did.
An hour later, he emerged from the restaurant, belly full with food. It served almost as an inner defence from the cold, heating him from the inside out. He wasn’t really sure, anymore, that he wanted to go and have fun. Maybe it would better for him to just relax and destress? God knows he needed it, he still hadn’t quite recovered from the labours of non-stop promotion.
Instead of hitting the clubs, he found himself sitting on a frost covered bench, hard as iron from the cold, watching his breath solidify before his eyes.
He watched the people come and go, children laughing, parents fussing, couples kissing. Everyone was with someone else, partnered up, having fun, and then there was him.
He was all alone. The thought rolled through his head a few times - alone. On his own. Without other people’s company.
No matter how he looked at it, the hopelessness didn’t dissipate. There was no avoiding the fact that he was alone at Christmas.
Sighing, he kicked a stone, hardened by the frost that covered it, sending it skittering away into the dark. He was just going to go home, at least he’d be more comfortable then, and if he wanted, he could just go to sleep.
When he got home, however, sleep was the last thing on his mind.
His first thought was that they’d been broken into, but suddenly that idea seemed illogical - what kind of thief lit at least fifty candles and scattered them throughout the apartment? That was the first thing he noticed, and then the ridiculous amount of tinsel that seemed to line the rooms, and the holly hanging in various corners of the ceiling. They hadn’t been there this morning - other than the tree, there were no decorations. Everyone had believed that no one would be home, and so deemed decorations irrelevant.
“H-Hello?” His voice betrayed his fear as he tiptoed around the room. What the hell was going on? Then something caught his eye.
Leading straight from the entrance to the apartment, there was a thick trail of glitter, that wound right round to the door of his bedroom. Cautiously, he followed the path, sparkling grains crunching beneath his feet as he went along. Almost shaking, he rested his hand on the doorknob, wondering whether to actually go inside or not. After taking a deep breath, he rolled his wrist, twisting the ball under his fingers, and forced his way into the room.
He never expected what he found.
A whole different dimension to the other room, there was an air of all things natural in here.
The two beds had been pushed together, he assumed, and covered with what appeared to be a white sheet, draped softly over.
Around that, there was a circle of thick ivy, dotted with the odd branch of glitter covered holly, illuminated by a mysterious white light.
When he looked around, he saw two little spotlights plugged in, but he tried to ignore them, knowing they were there seemed to ruin the romantic way the bed was illuminated; the light gentle and not at all harsh or bright, yet it still managed to cast the rest of the room into darkness.
That was when his attention was turned to the bed itself.
He had been distracted at first, by the beauty of the surroundings, and had not noticed more than the simple sheet. But now that he looked, he saw the scattering of white petals (were they roses?) and yet more glitter - blue and silver this time.
And a shadow…
There was a shadow, swaying slightly, distorted by the creases of the cover. It was a huge bushel of mistletoe, white orbs glowing inside the forest green, tied with a white ribbon.
Someone… Someone had done all this and somehow managed to tie it up there with a piece of string. But who… and why?
“Sunggyu.” A voice - a familiar voice - murmured, barely carrying to his ears. He turned slowly, step by step, to find Woohyun stood there, usual confidence no where to be found. Instead, the younger man looked almost sheepish, nervous.
“Woohyun what is all thi-” Sunggyu began but he was silenced by a shake of the dark haired head.
“I love you.”
Even stood there, face thrown into the strangest of lights - orange glow creating shadows from behind, white blush starkly highlighting his pale skin. He was more beautiful than Sunggyu had ever realised, and knew that his words had been completely sincere. More than that, he knew he reciprocated the feeling.
“I love you too but you didn’t-”
Again, his wandering words were silenced when Woohyun stepped forwards, minute hips swaying slightly.
“Mistletoe.” He whispered, directly into the elder’s ear, sending a shiver (completely unrelated to the wintery weather) down his spine. With a tender kiss, he took his right hand in his left and lead him silently to the bed, where he lay himself down softly. This time, he was silent too, but Sunggyu knew what his intentions were.
He crawled over him, brushing the loose bangs out of his eyes before leaning down to plant soft kisses over his lips. There were no questions asked, they both understood each other, and allowed the progression to flow, quietly peeling clothing from each other, until they were both naked and completely overwhelmed by the sight of one another. Everything was slow, careful, gentle touches and sweet caresses, skin gliding over skin, lips and bodies uniting as one.
“Oh God, Sunggyu…” Woohyun murmured, hair matted with sweat, eyes closed, breath heaving - all together lovely, Sunggyu thought.
“I know.” He whispered, head hanging beside the younger man’s as he continued to roll his hips. Woohyun moved his in response, hands slipping up and down the charismatic elder’s back, tracing cool patterns Sunggyu was sure would glow in the dim light.
They became a harmony, movements complimenting each other, kisses corresponding with the other’s wishes, hands finding the perfect places, perfect rhythms. Lost in each other, in their beautiful winter wonderland, it wasn’t long before they were falling apart, incoherent confessions of love and murmurs of their names spilling from their swollen lips, skin still dry from the cold Christmas air.
Woohyun was the first to snap, back arching as a silken moan rendered him still, perfect in Sunggyu’s eyes.
The elder tumbled from sanity almost immediately after, no time to fully admire the beauty beneath him. Soft cries fell from his tongue as he buried his head in the younger’s chest, hips still moving as if of their own accord.
“Woohyun.. God… I l-love… ugh.” He couldn’t even find words worthy of his meaning as he slid from the man beneath him, head resting in the crook of his neck. Their hands slid together, fingers lacing tenderly around each other’s.
“Hyun-ah?” Sunggyu murmured some time later, caressing the sinewy flesh beneath him with his nose.
The faint fragrance of his new cologne was distinctive in amongst the scent of sweat and pure love. Sunggyu had helped him choose it - it was softer, more subtle than his usual choices, but it suited him a lot more and smelt almost heavenly.
“Mmm?” He replied lazily, his other hand threading softly in the elder’s lightened hair.
“How did you do all this? Why did you do it?” He asked, eyes widening as he tilted his head, searching past the sharp jaw that obstructed his view, to find Woohyun’s eyes.
“The neighbourhood’s ahjummas were more than happy to help.” He chuckled, chest heaving slightly, before he rolled onto his side. Thin arms wrapped around Sunggyu, pulling him into the den of warmth that radiated from the young vocalist.
“And no one should be alone at Christmas.”
Sunggyu tensed, staring at him, incredulously. He did all this… just so he wasn’t alone at Christmas?
“Nam Woohyun, you are the biggest idiot in history, but I love you so, so much.” He sighed, clinging tightly to the fragile body he lay beside. Again, a slight chuckle echoed through Woohyun’s lips, his head rolling back on the pillow.
“I love you too.”
Sunggyu sighed, closing his eyes as sleep began to sweep over him, body still flush to Woohyun’s. They were tired now, they could wash up in the morning.
“Merry Christmas baby.” Woohyun breathed, fingers dancing over Sunggyu’s neck.
Soon, Sunggyu felt the breath that ghosted the crown of his head fall into a heavy, regular rhythm, and sighed, allowing himself to follow Woohyun into a deep, blissful sleep.
Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: 말하지 말걸 - MBLAQ